I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
