Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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