remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize