before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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