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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hahahaha

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  make that 40.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I need to stop coming to work sober

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  my entire left arm went numb

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms

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• (408): View more from California

  I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  ...I don't remember telling you about that but yes

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