do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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