HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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