dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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