WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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