Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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