I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
