I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
