I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
