its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
