You're so nebulous sometimes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
