Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
