She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
