in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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