Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
