R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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