He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
