i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
