your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
