got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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