Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
