FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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