My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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