Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
