I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your cock deserves a montage
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
