Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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