Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
