People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
