it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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