Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize