how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
