Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize