remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
