then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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