i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
