arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
