the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
