Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
