someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
