I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
