i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
