my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
