my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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