Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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