Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
