i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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