I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
