the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
