Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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