We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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