How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
