Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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