In the future we'll all be gay
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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